advice, motherhood, parenting

Mommy Guilt and Not Spoiling the Child. Help!

“But what will you do??”   “Don’t hold the baby too much! You’re going to spoil him!” “Don’t just let him cry! You will stress him!” “Oh you work? Well who watches the baby?” “Oh that has got to be so hard to be away from him!”

Those kind of questions and statements can really mess with your head, because it begins to turn into Mommy Guilt. Which I had really badly when Aviry was a baby.

I will admit I often care too much about what people think of me. (I’m still growing y’all) What I end up doing at times is I OVER COMPENSATE for everything. I buy toys for Aviry because I feel guilty about not having my life in perfect order before he was born. I allow wiggle room that otherwise wouldn’t be given to him because I felt bad I had to work AND do homework. Little things start to slide. “Go ahead Aviry watch one more Episode. Have another cookie. Sure only 10 more minutes.”

We are entering a phase of  Aviry not completely understanding that everything we provide for him has LITERALLY been through hard work, sweat and at times many, many tears. At 9 I don’t expect him to understand this but I struggle with this situation.  How do you keep your child balanced in today’s world?  I want Aviry to understand hard work and appreciate what he has,  yet as a child I remember what struggling financially felt like and IT SUCKED. I don’t want Aviry to feel that. I learned very early on the importance of hard work and it has helped me tremendously in adult hood. Aviry is such a smart and amazing kid, I don’t want him to misunderstand the importance of hard work, or hinder him because of what he has or doesn’t have.

Parenting is just this constant journey where each day, week or minute can change. One day I feel like Super mom and the next I’m confused as ever. I’m not worried I know that Aviry will be just fine but any pointer or tips are always appreciated!

How do you teach hard work and instill passion into your children? What tips do you have for me as a mom who tends to over compensate?

 

 

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