I’m a Baby Mama.
A baby mama is the mother of one or more of a man’s children, especially one who is not his wife or current partner. I have just started embracing the word and will say it proudly because there is beauty and strength in being a baby mama.
I had my awesome and amazing son when I was 20 years old. I am no longer with his dad. (Praise him! Yes Lawd! Thank ya sweet baby Jesus!) It truly was for the best, but he’s a great dad and a great friend. For years I have struggled with being a baby mama. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like what it meant to other people. I saw it happen often. I would walk into a many different social situations and be perceived as energetic, intelligent and friendly. A glimpse of my son’s face on my phone would spark the question, “Aww who’s that cutie?” I would always answer with a smile. “My son”. That would typically lead to complete and utter surprise that I had a son. The remarks were usually always flattering and indicated I was in great shape after birthing a child. What I began to notice is that when I told people I had a son, I felt as if the way I was viewed shifted…
It was assumed I was on welfare. My dreams were viewed as pipe dreams, I had been told by some I would never accomplish them after becoming a mother.
When I was hired or interviewing for jobs I felt as if they doubted my effectiveness because I am a mother. Oh yes, add to the fact I am a black woman. Lets be real some people they really doubted me.
Now of course I can not forget the amazing people who encouraged, motivated me, and have been the best support system a baby mama could ask for. I have and will accomplish so much because of this wonderful group of people.
Whats frustrating for me is the doubt. As a baby mama your ability to pull through is doubted, There is doubt that you won’t be able to commit to a career, so often people don’t realize that as a baby mama you really are amazing, have an insane amount of grit, can multitask like a mutha$#$% and can function at an extremely high-capacity while being chronically tired!
I love the element of surprise when they realize I am more than a baby mama. When I show them that I am just as capable, if not more than they or anyone else. I have always had grit, I have always been determined but I also have a fire under my ass that motivates me like no other. My Son.
I am a Mother. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Lover. Fighter. Actress. Business woman. Sexy. Photographer. Dog Lover. I am educated. Determined. Driven and Focused. I am a Baby mama and so much more.
So for those who may not be too sure on what it means to be a baby mama.
I am hear to change that.
I want to encourage and uplift. I want to share my strengths and weaknesses, make you laugh and keep you posted on all things baby mama, from fun events, beauty and wellness and so much more.
(This is my first blog post so I’m sure this will evolve!)